Say yes reluctantly. Procrastinate shamelessly. Complain relentlessly. Feel like a martyr. You go through all of that, when one little word — two little letters, even! — could have freed you from obligation: No. Sorry, no. Darn it, no, I can’t. That’s what your inner bobblehead was screaming as your mouth uttered, “Yes, I’d love to head up this year’s charity doll-fashion show and silent-auction bake sale.”

Thinking you are a bad person for saying no is a symptom of “the disease to please.” “Saying yes when you need to say no causes burnout. You do yourself and the person making the request a disservice by saying yes all of the time,” says Duke Robinson, author of Too Nice for Your Own Good (Warner Books, $14, www.amazon.com). Here’s how to do the right thing — for yourself and others — in 10 common scenarios where you know that opting out is your best option. Don’t feel guilty. Just take these tips from experts on etiquette and communication — and a cue from your favorite two-year-old — and say no.

Saying No for the Sake of Your Wallet

Request: A friend in need asks for a Trump-worthy loan.

What You Should Say: “I wish I could, but as a rule, I don’t lend money to friends.”

Why It Works: It’s clear that you are not singling out this person as untrustworthy.

Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty: Lending any amount of money can cause problems, says Don Gabor, a communications trainer and the author of Words That Win (Prentice Hall Press, $15, www.amazon.com). “It can change the nature of your relationship if the person doesn’t pay you back.”

How to Avoid the Situation in the Future: Never lend money to friends and you won’t get a reputation as a walking, breathing ATM.

Request: A coworker wants you to chip in $25 for a gift for a colleague you wouldn’t recognize at the watercooler.

What You Should Say: “Oh, I’ve never really had a conversation with Sam. I think I’ll just wish him a happy birthday in person.”

Why It Works: Chances are, the person taking donations has no idea how close you are (or are not) with the intended recipient. By clarifying the nature of your relationship — and emphasizing your intention to get to know the person better — you come across as thoughtful rather than cheap.

Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty: “A gift isn’t a gift if it’s an obligation,” say etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh, authors of The Fabulous Girl’s Guide to Grace Under Pressure (Broadway Books, $15, www.amazon.com).

How to Avoid the Situation in the Future: If workplace gift giving is getting out of hand, take the lead in restoring sanity by circulating a card before someone can break out the gift-donation plate. Make sure others know you don’t expect anything on your birthday.

Request: Your third cousin asks to bring her boyfriend-of-the-month to your $150-a-plate wedding reception.

What You Should Say: “We’ve already had to make so many tough decisions to get the guest list down to size. We really can’t squeeze in/afford another guest. But I would love to have you two over for drinks sometime so I can meet him.”

Why It Works: If you illuminate some of your behind-the-scenes planning, your cousin may get a clue about the inappropriateness of the request.

Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty: It’s your party and your pocketbook, says Patti Breitman, coauthor of How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty (Broadway Books, $14, www.amazon.com).

How to Avoid the Situation in the Future: Make a few calls before you put together the guest list to see if there are new additions you should consider as you plan.