In 2004, while taking a bubble bath with her two daughters, Kelly Corrigan discovered a lump in her breast that turned out to be cancer. A photographer by trade, Corrigan instinctively grabbed her camera on the way to her first chemotherapy treatment and proceeded to document her entire experience — doctors’ appointments, chemo sessions, even the day she shaved her head. As the number of photographs grew, along with essays she’d been writing, she decided to craft the collection into a website, CircusofCancer.org. She wanted the site to provide a forum for her work and thoughts and serve as a how-to for cancer patients’ loved ones. Throughout her ordeal, Corrigan, who lives in Piedmont, California, was often moved by her friends’ heartfelt and innovative methods of showing their love. Here are six of her suggestions for supporting a sick friend.

1. Send her one-way communications.

Of course you want your friend to know you’re thinking of her, but you don’t want to bog her down with the responsibility of calling you back. “You always have to stress that there’s no need to reply, you don’t need to call me back, I just want you to know I’m on your team,” Corrigan says. She recommends sending cards or e-mails, since, unlike voice-mails, they don’t seem to demand a reply.

2. Stick with her.

“Cancer treatments go on for a long time,” Corrigan notes, “so there’s a flurry of activity in the beginning and then it peters out. And you have so much adrenaline in the early stages of getting diagnosed and starting your treatment that you kind of peter out.” In light of that, stretch out your support over the long haul, and especially to the end, when your friend will probably be feeling more tired and down.

3. Celebrate milestones.

Be aware of your friend’s calendar of treatments so you can commemorate them with her. “It’s very flattering that somebody knows that you have only two more chemos or you’re halfway through radiation,” says Corrigan, whose best friends whisked her away on an overnight trip to Napa Valley when she hit her halfway mark. “And when I finished chemo, everyone who had ever come to sit with me while I was getting my infusion was invited over to our house for champagne. They stayed for only an hour, and we gave out funny awards. It was a nice way to mark the end of chemo, which is such an exciting day.”

4. Make her comfortable.

Corrigan received some clever and thoughtful gifts, several of which focused on making her feel cozy and comfortable. “One person brought me a bag of cute, funny socks,” she recalls. “They were all really warm, and I wore them when I was getting my infusion. And then I wore them when I was laid up from chemo. It was such a pick-me-up. I felt it reflected that she just wanted me to be as comfortable as possible.” A second friend put together a kit to keep Corrigan entertained during her chemo infusions: a few CDs of her favorite radio program and a player on which to listen to them. And since radiation is tough on the skin, another pal compiled a “radiation care package,” filled with organic soaps, aloe, and a soft front-buckle bra that Corrigan could easily unbuckle at her treatments.

5. Help her feel pretty.

When a friend is ill, especially with cancer, she’s not feeling or looking like herself. While undergoing her chemotherapy, Corrigan relished gifts that reminded her of her femininity. “You lose your eyelashes and eyebrows by the end, as well as your hair,” she says, “so earrings, lipsticks, pretty scarves, manicures, pedicures — they help.”

6. Take care of things she might not be thinking about.

Housekeeping chores are not likely to be the first thing on your friend’s mind during an illness. How about helping her out with those? Offer to make grocery trips, take over the kids’ carpools, or run other errands. If you don’t have time yourself, there are other ways to help out. “Somebody sent their gardener over to spruce up my garden,” Corrigan recalls gratefully. “It was so nice, because I would walk past my garden every day, and it was dying, and it was driving me crazy. But that was so far down on my list of things to worry about. But it just bums you out. You feel like you’re wilting and browning, and then you’re walking past all these browning flowers that used to look so great.” Two of her friends also chipped in to get her a housecleaner every other week, freeing her up from worrying about keeping the house in order and providing her with a clean, comfortable bed to come home to after chemo.