That couldn’t be your little cherub crawling on the floor under the coffee table, tying guests’ shoelaces together, could it? “A party can be very uncomfortable for kids. Meeting grown-ups is weird,” says Corinne Gregory, president and founder of PoliteChild, a program in Woodinville, Washington, that teaches children the fundamentals of good character. She offers these tips for encouraging polite behavior.

1. Be specific about what you expect of your kids. For example, any child three or older should be able to say hello and shake hands with the hosts. Alert kids that parts of the party might be boring, but that there will be other children to play with. (If there won’t be other kids, hire a babysitter for the night.)
2. Practice at home. Pretend you’re at the event, and let your children get used to saying, “Hello, Mrs. Jackson. Nice to meet you.”
3. Mind their internal clocks. Don’t subject kids to a party that goes long past their bedtime. Keep in mind that a long cocktail hour could cause their blood sugar to nose-dive. And make sure they get something kid-friendly to eat beforehand, so you don’t have to worry about fussy palates at the party.
4. Keep the post-party review positive. Compliment your kids for what they did right, and limit pointers to one or two. “You don’t want to create a phobia about going to events,” Gregory says.