Non sequiturs have their moments: They're invaluable as a not-so-subtle way to steer conversation away from the brink of a family brawl. Just remember that changing the subject is an art form, requiring balance and awareness. "Be careful not to do it without reason or without letting the other person finish what he was trying to say," etiquette consultant Sue Fox warns, or you risk being labeled the one who barely listens. Asking a question is usually effective — other uncomfortable family members will probably jump at the chance to talk about something else. Some ideas:

Ask if anyone is up for a movie after dinner, then list the ones you've been dying to see. Someone will surely volunteer a suggestion of his own, sparking further discussion, even if you never get around to going.

Think of something that has happened to you in the last few months that you can announce to the table. Promotions, awards your kids have won, or recent home improvements, however small, are all fair game. (Don't tread into braggart territory, however.

Start talking about a relative who is not at the gathering. Nothing nasty — just ask if anyone has news about that person.

Comment on the food. Ask where the chef found the recipe or what kind of wine you're drinking.

The last resort: Accidentally catapult a spoonful of peas across the table. "Everyone's eyes will be on you, instead of on the person who's being rude or inappropriate," author Caroline Tiger says.