When your bank of choice had pink ears and a snout, you had no problem talking about money with Mom and Dad. In fact, you were no doubt eager to negotiate a raise in your allowance. But somewhere along the way you learned that money involves a lot more than paper bills and spare change — especially when family is involved.

“Financial decisions are so sensitive because they communicate more than just the way money is handled,” says Rebecca Merrill, coauthor of Life Matters: Creating a Dynamic Balance of Work, Family, Time & Money (McGraw-Hill, $14, www.amazon.com). Money can represent love, security, independence, and more. So how do you navigate all these different meanings and the issues that accompany them? Here, experts weigh in on some sensitive scenarios. Consider it a whole new approach to family values.

My daughter, who has always been very independent, is on her own for the first time. Can I help her out financially without stifling her?

You’re on the right track by honoring her desire to make it on her own, says A. Roger Merrill, Rebecca Merrill’s husband and coauthor. Start by talking with your daughter about how budgeting is tough for people of any age, says Neale Godfrey, author of Money Still Doesn’t Grow on Trees: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Teenagers and Young Adults (Rodale, $11, www.amazon.com). Then point her to a website where she can track her spending (see Web Resources). Also, ask her where she needs help — whether it’s with the gym or the utilities — and if she would like you to pay that bill each month. That way, your contribution is consistent, and you know where your money is going.