1. Send e-mail updates. “My friend Jennifer started an e-mail list with news on my treatment and progress,” says former cancer patient Jan Colbert of Columbia, Missouri. “This spared me having to explain the details to every single person.”

2. Drop off food, preferably something that can be frozen if it’s not needed immediately. Use a disposable container that doesn’t need to be returned.

3. Help around the house. “Even when you’re distracted by illness, plants, laundry, and pets all need to be attended to,” says Jamie Myers of Eugene, Oregon, whose husband had leukemia (now in remission).

4. Drive. If someone’s condition makes driving impractical or impossible, offer to chauffeur her to appointments or to run errands.

5. Care for the caregivers. Tending to an ailing family member can be stressful. Treat the main caregiver to a gift certificate for a massage or a nice meal.