I just found out from a friend that another good friend is sick, but she hasn’t yet told me herself. Do I have to act like I don’t know?

First, ask the person who told you whether your sick friend wants other people to know. If she doesn’t, don’t mention it or, worse, drop hints in an attempt to draw the information out of her. “You have to get beyond your own hurt feelings and respect that this is about her,” says Arnold Medvene, a staff psychologist specializing in illness-and-loss group therapy at the University of Maryland Counseling Center, in College Park. She’ll tell you when and if she wants to.