Lisa Happ, a child psychologist in Washington, D.C., offers these tips for talking to children about a sick relative.

Choose a time of day when the child isn’t tired or distracted.

Make sure you can look her in the eye and gauge her reaction (a car talk is not ideal).

Give her a conversational warning. Try “We have important news.”

Don’t feel you have to share all the details at once: State the basics, then answer questions.

It’s OK to say “I don’t know, but I’ll try to find out” to any question.

Use medical terms, and explain them. Express confidence in the doctors and your hope for recovery.

Explain what the illness may mean to the child’s routine: Will someone else be caring for her? Will the relative look different?

Check in from time to time to make sure the child understands and feels supported.

Inform important people in your child’s world — teachers and babysitters, for example — so they can watch out for signs of stress and avoid falsely reassuring a child (as in “Grandma’s going to be fine” if she’s not).

Around ages six to eight, children begin to understand death. If you know the sick person will die soon, explain that to the child — and that it’s OK to be sad or mad or scared.