1. Do you feel comfortable about your financial situation? Would a financial planner be helpful?

There is no bigger pressure point for parents and children than money. In addition to the usual issues regarding monthly cash flow, there are the bigger concerns, such as proper retirement asset allocation and long-term-care insurance.

To take the emotion out of this conversation and to ensure that you have covered all the bases, it's wise to hire a professional. Many financial planners and advisers specialize in working with elderly parents and their children. Friends and colleagues are often the best referral sources.

If parents seem overwhelmed or are ill, children should consider hiring someone to pay the parents' bills and issue a monthly cash-flow statement instead of taking on this job themselves, says Joan Gruber, a Dallas investment adviser who specializes in multigenerational family financial advice.