Request: You are asked to coordinate the bake sale — again — at your child's school.

What you should say: "I know I'm going to disappoint you, but I've decided not to volunteer this year, because I fear I'll end up feeling resentful. Is there any way to get some of the other parents to step up?"

Why it works: Often people feel manipulated into doing something ("The ice cream social just won't happen without your help!"). If you can address the problematic pattern of one person's doing all the work, you sidestep the manipulation. And if you say no, it might force others (who never get asked) to say yes.

Why you shouldn't feel guilty: "You've done your fair share, and now others can do this job," says author Duke Robinson.

How to avoid the situation in the future: "Encourage school leaders to present the problem to all the parents," says author Duke Robinson. "If people know an important program may fail, they'll usually remedy the situation."