Request: A coworker wants you to chip in $25 for a gift for a colleague you wouldn't recognize at the watercooler.

What you should say: "Oh, I've never really had a conversation with Sam. I think I'll just wish him a happy birthday in person."

Why it works: Chances are, the person taking donations has no idea how close you are (or are not) with the intended recipient. By clarifying the nature of your relationship — and emphasizing your intention to get to know the person better — you come across as thoughtful rather than cheap.

Why you shouldn't feel guilty: "A gift isn't a gift if it's an obligation," say etiquette writers Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh.

How to avoid the situation in the future: If workplace gift giving is getting out of hand, take the lead in restoring sanity by circulating a card before someone can break out the gift-donation plate. Make sure others know you don't expect anything on your birthday.