Guest goes unnoticed … Pest gives no notice

Guest makes self comfortable … Pest makes self at home

Guest is considerate of the furniture … Pest considers self part of the furniture

Guest washes — then dries … Pest crashes — then whines

Guest has good sense … Pest has noisy sex

Guest sends out thank-you note … Pest wears out welcome mat

Guest takes away memories, leaves behind only footprints … Pest takes away mementos, leaves behind only food stains