A friend unveils the bridesmaid dress she'd like you to wear for her wedding: It costs $400, and you're having trouble making your college-loan payment.
YOU SAY: "I'm honored that you asked me to be in your wedding party, but I'll be honest: I just can't afford the dress. I'm so sorry, but I'll be with you in spirit, out in the pews."
WHY: "It's a bigger question than the dress — it's pretty serious to turn down an invitation to be in someone's wedding," says Peggy Post, author of Wedding Etiquette www.amazon.com. "Bite the bullet if you can, but if not, talk to the bride one-on-one about it." Don't try coaxing the bride into a less-expensive frock: "If you meddle with the pageantry of the event, you'll make everyone mad," says Baldrige. "Be honest about your situation, then give an extra-nice, extra-thoughtful wedding gift."