Firing Fundamentals

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The sooner, the easier. "You need to get beyond the guilt trip" you give yourself and give him or her the heave-ho, says psychologist Wayne Sotile. "The shame isn't in making the mistake of hiring this person; it's in waiting too long to fire him or her."

Make it quick, and get to the point. The whole conversation should take no longer than 10 or 15 minutes — any longer than that becomes repetitive and increases the chance you'll leak white lies you'll regret ("I'd still love you to come to my Labor Day barbecue!") or false promises ("I'll recommend you to all my friends"). And don't apologize (it sounds insincere) or put the blame on someone else (it sends a mixed message).

Be considerate and respectful but firm. "You owe it to the person to be courteous, but you don't owe them a therapy session," says Sotile. "Part of ending the relationship is giving up the responsibility for dealing with it. Deliver the message and terminate the relationship." If the firee asks for constructive criticism in a sincere fashion, give it only if you feel comfortable.

Written by Sarah Humphreys

June/July 2002

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