OFTEN HEARD SAYING: "That's not what I heard."

THE OFFENSE: Spreads family "secrets" like butter on bread.

YOUR COURSE OF ACTION: "Gossip is unavoidable and, for the most part, benign," says etiquette consultant Caroline Fox. "It's just everyone's way of showing they're interested in other people." There's no need to scold guests for livening up the conversation with a few juicy details. If someone's gossip is extreme and mean-spirited, however, think about not inviting the infectious person next year, psychologist Barry Greenwald says.