You're standing at a cocktail party feeling not like a socialite, but like a squirrel — because you've got a secret stash of pits in your cheek or your clutched paw. When you're faced with discarding olive pits, shrimp tails, gristle, and the remnants of other awkward-to-eat foods, the golden rule, according to Letitia Baldrige, manners authority and author of New Manners for New Times (Scribner, $24, www.amazon.com), is to be considerate of others. "The most polite thing to do when getting rid of pits is to turn away from the other guests, bring your napkin to your mouth, slide the pits into it with your tongue, and bring the napkin back to your lap," she says. "Then deposit them on your plate when no one is looking." If you're offered shrimp cocktail, says Charlotte Ford, author of 21st-Century Etiquette (Penguin USA, $11, www.amazon.com), spear each piece with a fork or skewer and eat it a mouthful at a time. "Leave the tails on your plate or in a cocktail napkin. If you don't have either, find the nearest receptacle."