Q. Is it OK to R.S.V.P. for an event after the deadline if you found out late that you could attend?
Trayce Grimes
Louisville, Kentucky

A. No doubt we’ve all done it, but it’s a social faux pas not to R.S.V.P. to an invitation. If you’re not sure whether you can attend by the R.S.V.P. deadline, it’s best to politely decline the invitation, says Jodi R. R. Smith, author of From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman (Sterling, $10, www.amazon.com). If your plans change later on, it’s fine to call the host and let her know the situation. Ask if she still has room and tell her that you would love to attend but leave the final decision up to her.

If you respond to the invitation for the first time only a day or two before the event, the host will assume you were just waiting to make sure nothing better came along.

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