Fun House

Time, talk, and tease! Take time with each other. It will make you happy. Talk to each other. It will keep you happy. Tease each other. It will keep life interesting.
Amy Ogea
Lake Charles, Louisiana

Laugh. Laugh at yourselves. Laugh at the world. You can’t argue and laugh at the same time.
Ann Weber
Rochester, New York

Our enormous yellow lab, Ralphie. He helped us work out so many issues when he was a puppy — my husband and I never fought so often, prayed so hard, or laughed so hard before the dog came into our lives. It made the transition to having kids easier on us.
Gretchen Warsen
Nashua, New Hampshire

Something to Talk About

For the seven years that my husband and I have been married, we’ve never had a television in our bedroom. At the end of a hectic day of dealing with work and two small children, we use our bedroom as a quiet sanctuary. Without the distraction of TV, we can talk, relax, or just read side by side.
Heather Buchanan
New Albany, Ohio

It’s really no secret, but it too often gets lost in life’s shuffle: communication. That encompasses talking and a whole lot more. It is a tone of voice that reflects understanding (or at least a desire to understand) and asks a question without an accusation. It is eye contact, even when you’re tempted to keep doing whatever is occupying your line of vision when your spouse is talking. It is quiet time that reflects real listening, rather than thinking of your response ahead of time. It is positive effort: no name calling, no obscenities, no threats, and no shouting. If a couple can really master communication, everything else — laughing, loving, raising kids, and facing obstacles — will fall into place.
Linda Berganske
Summerville, South Carolina

In Brief

My grandma, who was married to my grandfather for 43 years, said, “Don’t start a racket.” It was her way of telling me not to create unnecessary storms in my personal life or in the world. My husband and I will celebrate 37 years of marriage this New Year’s Eve without a lot of “racket.”
Brenda Lawson
Overland Park, Kansas

While visiting a couple that had been married 50 years, I asked the husband, “What is the secret to such a long marriage?” He responded to the neophyte couple of 20 years, “Keep your mouth shut!”
Kim Earley
Lakewood Ranch, Florida

Him standing for hours on end in an antique mall on a November Sunday afternoon, even though he’d rather be watching football, and her watching football on a November Sunday evening, even though she’d rather be reading a book.
Shawn Burcham
Jamestown, Indiana

Three words: Agree to disagree. If you are not willing to let your spouse have his own odd/insane/ignorant/just-plain-wrong opinion, you are doomed.
Jill Murtagh
Chicago, Illinois

He gives me the money; I pay the bills. We both like to clean.
Shannon O’Brien
Eagan, Minnesota

On our wedding day, my great-great-uncle, who had been married for more than 50 years, told me the secret to a happy marriage is “trust and understanding.” I thought these were great words of wisdom until he added, “She doesn’t trust me, and I don’t understand her!”
Amanda English
Plainwell, Michigan

Doing the chores you dislike but he hates, walking away instead of picking a fight, snuggling before sleep even if you had a fight that day, and realizing it is easier to put up with a few little annoyances than to imagine life without him.
Alice Agnew
Erie, Pennsylvania