Tool No. 1: The Good-Stuff List
This year, I’ve compiled a list of all the good stuff I’ve done during the past year. I don’t mean the time I cured world hunger; I mean the ordinary but nice or meaningful things I did that made me or somebody else happy. Here’s one: I was walking past the bank near our apartment building when I saw an elderly woman, cigarette in hand, wearing a tube attached to an oxygen tank and struggling to get out the door. (She reminded me of my mother, who smoked.) I dropped everything and held the door for her. “God bless you,” she said. That was it. No big deal. But when I feel myself slipping into a comparison trap, I’ll call on a moment like that to remind myself that it doesn’t matter if I serve store-bought pie. I’m still an OK person.

Tool No. 2: The Delightful-Moments List
Second, I’ve made a list of the unexpected moments from the past year that gave me joy — things that were nothing more or less than fun, poignant, or just plain worth remembering. Like the priceless scene that happened on Christmas morning last year, when our golden-retriever puppy, Willa, came bounding out of our kitchen wearing gold gift wrap around her neck, holding a gift tag in her mouth, trailing red ribbon, and wagging her tail, looking like a badly wrapped present. I added a few older memories to my list, too, just for good measure. (Remember: This isn’t about being perfect. If it made you smile years ago, write it down!)

Are you starting to come up with your own lists? Then we’re ready to face our traps. Here are mine; see if they’re similar to yours. Hey, by the time we’re done, we’ll be able to handle anything the holidays throw our way.