Why do we do it? Well, let’s face it: We’re still told, in so many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, that people don’t like strong women. Many of us are not sure if our bosses, our spouses, or our kids will still love us or want us if we fully express our power. I’ve seen woman after woman shine a little less brightly so she doesn’t offend anyone — including other women. One female manager I know agreed not to accept any more interviews with the media about her work and to stop giving speeches lest she further alienate her insecure boss. If she waits long enough, maybe he’ll feel good enough about himself to allow her to shine. She could wait a lifetime.

Some of us are so eager not to lose that we disqualify ourselves before the race even begins: “Now that I think about it, my proposal isn’t all that great. Don’t bother to read it. Maybe I’ll redo it for another time.” How many times have we heard ourselves say that or something darned close to it? And do we ever “redo” it? Not likely. Who knows how many wonderful world-changing, life-changing, fortune-changing, or just day-changing ideas bit the dust because someone smart, talented, and passionate gave away her power.