Interrupting

Why We Do It: “Interrupting can be just as much about showing the other person that we’re paying attention as it is about trying to take the floor,” says linguist Deborah Tannen. Talking along usually means you’re enthusiastic about the conversation. The trouble is, your enthusiasm doesn’t always come across; interrupting can be jarring to the original speaker. You can also seem rude and overly aggressive.

How to Stop It: First, figure out if the interruption is welcome. Before you interject, lock eyes with the person talking, suggests crisis-communication strategist Don Goldberg. Watch her facial expression as you open your mouth, breathe in, and prepare to speak. That will help you know if she’s receptive to your interruption. If she stops talking or slows down and lets you go ahead with the interjection, then she probably doesn’t mind. But if she looks annoyed and keeps talking, you might want to wait until she finishes her thought. As she speaks, focus on three important points in her story or argument. This kind of mental game turns you from an interrupter into an active listener. “It forces you to hold off and pay attention up until the very last sentence,” explains media coach Bill McGowan.