From the “Never give up, kiddo!” pep talks to those annoying “Always count your pennies” reminders and old-fashioned maxims, a father’s counsel is never in short supply. You may not always have wanted to hear what he had to say, but his words undoubtedly shaped who you are. And so did the unspoken advice that he gave by example or by just being there when you really needed him. This month, Real Simple readers pay tribute to Dad and his two cents.

This Month’s Winner

Twice the Fun
My stepfather has always told me that people do not plan to fail, they fail to plan. My dad has always told me to live by the seat of my pants and enjoy the ride of life with laughter. I have been able to take both tidbits of advice to create a beautiful combination of spontaneity and precision in my world. Thanks to those two wonderful men I call Dad.
Teri Williams
Celina, Texas
Teri will receive a copy of Real Simple Celebrations.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

My favorite piece of advice from my dad is never be afraid to be silly. It breaks the ice, smoothes over awkward moments, and makes people laugh in the middle of an argument. And, he would add, a woman is never more beautiful than when she is happy, with a sparkle in her eye.
Nicole Edwards
Jacksonville, Florida

“Smile! It makes everybody wonder what you’re up to.”
Amy Vargo
Swansboro, North Carolina

When I was in high school and full of small concerns, my dad said not to worry, since he was worrying about them himself: “There’s no use in two people worrying about the same things.” Fifteen years later, that quote is part of my life — and my husband’s. As a result, he’s not worried about the medical bill on my desk, and I’m not worried about the flood in the basement.
Rachel Anderson
Grove City, Pennsylvania

Lessons Learned

When I was a teen, I had a curfew of midnight, because my father always said, “Nothing much good happens after midnight.” I chafed at his words. Now, as a parent myself, I realize he was a pretty smart guy.
Valerie Hoffmann
Salem, New York

Growing up, my four sisters and I occasionally let our tempers flare. Once, my father walked into the house as insults were being thrown. He took us outside to the planting beds and had us weed, explaining that in life you sometimes have to weed out the frustrations and impulses of hateful words and actions. When I was a child, this concrete example made sense to me. To this day, when I weed my garden, I think about that; and when I get frustrated, as I still tend to do, I try to remind myself to just go weed.
Janelle Sowders
Cincinnati, Ohio

My father showed me — with true strength, courage, and integrity — the importance of letting go of past pain and regret. Whatever struggles I faced, he taught me that hanging on to resentment, guilt, grudges, or any negative emotion is destructive to body, mind, and spirit. Most important, it consumes energy better spent on living. Dad’s message: “Look for the lessons, learn, and let it go.”
Jody Mendes
Champaign, Illinois

“Don’t look back at the furrow you’ve plowed.” Whenever I start to question my actions or obsess about what I could have done, I think of those words. My dad was basically saying that you’ll never get ahead in the future if you’re focusing on the past.
Michael Stack
Minneapolis, Minnesota

My father always told me to lower my voice whenever I’m angry or upset. As I grew older, I saw how a lower, softer voice got my husband’s attention better than a whiny, shrill lament. As my three rambunctious sons grew older, I saw how my deeper, quieter voice got their attention when they were fighting. Now I see that a low, firm voice keeps my body composed and in control under many stressful circumstances. I think I’m healthier today because of my dad’s advice.
Dolly Wiseman
Calabasas, California

When I was a little girl, after we said prayers at bedtime, my father and I would “race” from the wall to the foot of my bed. I won every night — until the night that my father won. I cried so much. My father hugged me; he didn’t laugh or try to settle me down. He waited until my sobbing had subsided, then he said simply, “You won’t win in life all the time, but it’s the experience that counts.”
Kaui DeMarzo
Foster City, California

When my son was about two years old, my father told me to always let my child know who’s in control, but to do it with love. Reflecting back over my years as an educator as well as a parent, I understand that children are looking to adults for boundaries, and that is what they need to become respectful, responsible adults.
Carrie Benoit
Buckland, Massachusetts

My favorite piece of advice from my father was given by him to my brand-new husband: Know when it’s more important to give in than to keep fighting. We have been (mostly) happily married for 22 years, and we both learned to appreciate this wisdom.
Shawn Blanca
Longwood, Florida

The first time I had my heart broken, I stayed in bed for a week. All my girlfriends came and went, talking and trying to make jokes. Then one day my dad came in and sat with me. He didn’t say anything, just held my hand while I cried. The next day, I felt like getting up. Without a word, he taught me that there are other, better men in the world out there for me.
Colleen Oakes
Westminster, Colorado