What to Do: Apply the “airplane test,” says Diane Danielson, founder of a career networking website. Pursue a mentor relationship only with someone you would want to sit next to on a cross-country airplane trip. Then approach the prospective mentor with a specific question. (“Would you mind looking over my structure for this proposal?”) Start with something small and build on that. “A mentoring relationship has to evolve over time, and it helps if you genuinely like the person and enjoy spending time with her,” Danielson says. “Most great mentorships start out informally.” And remember that a good mentor might be someone who is different from you. “Someone in another department, someone of the opposite sex — they have a different perspective,” she says.

What Not to Do: “Don’t officially ask her to mentor you,” says Danielson. And if she demurs, don’t force it.

Sample Script: “You’re so good at getting your point across at meetings. If you have advice on how I could do that, too, I’d love to hear it.”