Kids hate to lose, so it’s tempting to “throw” games to keep them enthusiastic about playing. But that is a mistake, says Jay Gower, a counselor at a board-game camp at Oakland Yard Athletics, in Waterford, Michigan. “I never lose on purpose or let a child cheat,” he says. As long as you’re playing an age-appropriate game, it’s better to beat them and then talk about what they could have done differently to win. “Play that way a few times and soon they’ll be beating you fair and square,” says Gower.

Child-development specialist Charles Smith, a professor of family studies and human services at Kansas State University, agrees: “A kid will know if you’re not trying, and you’ll be sending the wrong message about the importance of winning versus sportsmanship.” But you can still handicap yourself by limiting the depth of strategy you use, Smith says. “Try to think like a kid,” he says, “and then play hard at that level.”