Step 1: Assemble the Group

Let your daughter choose the members, says Shireen Dodson, author of The Mother-Daughter Book Club (Quill, $14, www.amazon.com). Surprisingly, Dodson says, they “don’t always pick their best friends.” (Moms should not force their daughters to pick the daughters of their best friends, either.) Dodson considers a group of 10 moms and 10 daughters ideal. “You need a critical mass, so that if one or two can’t come, you still have enough for a discussion. But there should be few enough so that everyone has the chance to talk,” she says.

Step 2: Choose a Regular Date

Once a month is what works for most people, says Dodson. This provides enough time to read the book. And stick with the same day and the same time each month to establish a routine.

Step 3: Choose the Books

Hold a book-selection meeting in which everyone brings several suggestions for books, says Dodson. At the meeting, present each book with a brief synopsis. If anyone objects, eliminate the book. If no one objects, the book goes into a pile from which each mother-daughter pair will choose the book it wants to host. Don’t book the whole year, though, Dodson advises. That way, new or overlooked books can be added to the schedule later.

Step 4: Divide Hosting Duties

Each mother-daughter pair picks a month when it will host a meeting. They also choose a location, such as their home, a bookstore, or a library. The host mother-daughter team is also responsible for serving refreshments.

Step 5: Meet

“As soon as the group arrives, have the mothers go one way and the daughters go another and socialize for about 30 minutes so everyone can catch up,” says Dodson. It’s a good opportunity to allow everyone to arrive, “and when you start the discussion there will be no one coming in and out,” she adds. Then each host daughter is responsible for running the discussion with questions she has made up herself. “Even when they are very young, like eight years old, basic simple questions can lead to good discussion,” Dodson says. The mothers will usually add follow-up questions, and before you know it, the discussion is well under way. “When we first started, we could have discussions that would last 30 to 40 minutes,” says Dodson. “As the group evolves, it becomes more trusting, and the discussions become longer and more in depth.” But keep in mind that “it takes girls a little bit longer to feel comfortable talking,” Dodson says. “And just because no one is talking doesn’t mean they are not thinking and they are not about to say something. You don’t always have to step in and fill the void.”