Etiquette Questions, Answered: Tricky Conversations
How Do We Respond When People Ask Us If We Are Having More Children?
Q: My husband and I have one child, and we feel happy and complete with our family. How do we field rude questions from people
inquiring when we are planning on having more kids?
A: First, realize that the people who ask this question don’t know they’re being rude. They believe they’re showing an interest in you and your life.
That said, you need to train them to show the sort of interest you consider acceptable, rather than intrusive. You can do
this gracefully, by deflecting their question with a humorous response (“We’re waiting to see how this kid turns out, and
then we’ll decide”) or a delicate reminder that they’re treading on personal territory (“What a funny question. No one has
ever asked me that before”).
Then, since people would usually rather talk about themselves anyway, change the subject: “Why don’t you tell me about your
family?” And if you’re feeling cheeky, go ahead and turn the tables: “So, are you thinking of adding another little bundle
of joy to your household?”
—Michelle Slatalla
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