Etiquette Questions, Answered: Entertaining and Guests

How Do I Get Friends to Respond to My Evite?

Q. I recently sent an Evite to my friends. Several of them opened it but never sent an RSVP. I can’t imagine them treating a formal invitation this way. How do I get them to reply?

Reshma Adwar
New York City

A. Whether the invitation was engraved on creamy paper or it arrived in someone’s in-box, you are owed the courtesy of an answer. And the informality of a mass–e-mailed invitation should theoretically increase the response rate. What could be easier than hitting Reply and typing, “Sorry, I can’t make it”?That said, some guests may assume that hosts send Evites only for casual events. As they scan the list of other guests’ names, they may believe themselves to be interchangeable faces in a crowd. They might think you won’t miss them if they don’t show up—or even RSVP. Remind them that this is not true by sending out a gracious follow-up e-mail that puts the laggards on the spot. Write to each one: “I hope you’re coming. I’ll save you a margarita or two unless I hear differently.” Even the worst foot-draggers should get the hint.

—Michelle Slatalla