6. Don’t try to outdo the other mother. It can only cause friction for you and potential stress for the kids. You both should be in it for them.

 

7. Let the bride’s mom pick her dress first. Custom says once she has chosen hers, she lets the mother of the groom know the color, length, and style so she can choose a complementary dress (keep the wedding photos in mind). Both moms should stay away from whites and the colors of the bridal party.

 

8. Don’t invite people too soon. Don’t start calling relatives as soon as the engagement is announced. To avoid an etiquette gaffe, wait until the guest list is finalized and you know how many people on your side can be accommodated.

 

9. Practice discretion. “If you’re not crazy about some person or some element of the wedding, keep it to yourself,” says Naylor. “Otherwise, that gossip will inevitably end up floating around at the wedding, and it could cast a shadow on the couple’s big day.”

 

10. Give a sentimental gift. If you’ve paid for a part of the wedding or honeymoon, consider presenting them with something sentimental, like a family heirloom. Or, from the registry you might choose a pie plate your son or daughter will use at every holiday and think of you. This is a way to say, ‘We welcome you into the family,’ and reflect that there’s life after the wedding.