Etiquette Help for the Holidays
Splitting the Holidays
Q. When multiple family members are hosting gatherings, how do you decide which group to spend the holiday with? It seems like we are always disappointing someone.
A. As soon as the invitations start rolling in, sit down with your calendar and think about how you want to spend your (limited) time, says Smith. If you have two school concerts, a cookie swap, and the office holiday party scheduled for the week before Christmas, then maybe you’ll want to skip the five-hour trip to your mother-in-law’s this year. While it’s important to consider certain factors, such as whom you were with on the previous holiday and how you divvy up other occasions, the ultimate decision should be the best one for you. “Circumstances change, so reevaluate your priorities each year and give yourself permission to say no to situations that would cause extra stress,” says Smith. Of course, there’s always the option of having everyone at your house, but if this would create other problems, like a turf war between the grandmas, forget we mentioned it. Once you’ve made your choice, let the disappointed parties down easy by setting a date to get together in the near future. By the time Martin Luther King weekend arrives, you might be itching for a visit.