Kang Kim

How to Deal With Anger Gracefully

Even in times when full-on anger is justified, social protocol sometimes prevents you from truly venting. Here, how to express yourself without coming off like a hothead or a doormat.

by Jenna McCarthy

Smile. You can’t work yourself into a rage without an angry face. Relax the muscles in your jaw, forehead, and lips to keep cool, then eke out a grin.
Look ahead. Will this thing matter in five minutes? Five months? Five years? If not, why bother wasting energy on it?
Put yourself in charge. Saying “I am choosing not to get angry about this” (or the opposite) can be empowering.
Adopt a more flexible philosophy of life. A few truths: Things won’t always go your way. Accidents happen. The world is an imperfect place. Repeat as necessary.
Think of the harm you may cause. Say your child comes home past his curfew. Your options are screaming (outcome: an ugly late-night shouting match) or telling him that you’re quite upset and that you’ll talk first thing in the morning (outcome: a more coherent and calm discussion).

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