*also file under:  Why Didn’t I Think of That? and It Really Does Pay to Ask


On my way to work last Friday I stopped at Starbucks, which I do every two weeks or so and which never, never fails to make me happy.  I swear, just walking in the door makes me happy.  Which at this point is a national cliché, so I’ll stop there. Anyway, after ordering my grande drip, specifying no Pike’s Peak (which in my mind is just a complete waste of time and frankly diminishes my previously unqualified love of Starbucks), I noticed this little cup full of green swizzle stick-looking things on the counter.  I said to the woman behind the register, “What are these?” and she said, “Stoppers for sip tops, so you don’t spill as you walk.”

At that point a heavenly choir began to sing.

A few facts about that morning:

1. I was wearing white pants 
2. I have to walk four blocks from Starbucks to my office
3. Yes, there is a Starbucks that is closer but just walking with the cup makes me happy
4. I always, always spill the coffee, especially if I am wearing something white
5. Tide-to-Go, which I have in abundant supply at the office, does indeed work—but not every single time

So I put the stopper in my lid and did not spill a drop.  And that made me happy for a good 20 minutes.  And then I drank the coffee, and that made me happy for about 4 hours.  Don’t you wish every day started that way?

When I turned 40 I decided that I was old enough to deserve a two-week summer vacation; it took me that long to figure out what many people already seemed to know, which is that it takes five and a half days away from work to even feel like you're on vacation, and then the next morning it's time to go home. Since I had a schedule that allowed me to pull it off, I've never looked back.

This year we did something different and split our vacation in two. The first week we spent at a family camp that I went to from the time I was five until I was twenty-five. It is on a big lake in New Hampshire, and the most surprising thing about the experience was how little the place had changed in 19 years. There was something both reassuring and depressing in staring up at the ceiling of our cabin and thinking, "This was here before I was born and it will be here after I'm dead."

For the second week we fulfilled our boys' fantasies and spent a lot of time at theme parks.  It was hot and we ate really bad food and Baby napped in his stroller for three days, which is no picnic for anybody and surely not optimal from an orthopedic standpoint. But we had fun--even the parents in the family. After all, what's better than discovering new things with your kids?

But the experience got me wondering again about what makes a better vacation: going someplace you already love, thus building up years and years of sentimental attachment, or discovering new places in this big great world? Which do you do?

For part one of our vacation, my little family went to a camp in New Hampshire with about a thousand van Ogtrops.  (Actually, more like 43, which is still quite a few.)  The camp is a place I have been many times and I was surrounded by many people I've known all of my life, so there were few surprises there.

For the second part of my vacation my little family piled into the car and headed south to Colonial Williamsburg, Busch Gardens, and Water Country USA. We sandwiched Williamsburg in between Water Country USA and Busch Gardens, sort of like a historical palate cleanser.

The trip was interesting on so many levels (I for one did not know that in colonial Williamsburg, if you were accused of a crime, you had a trial and either were found guilty or were hanged.  Wow!  Talk about open and shut cases), but perhaps the most interesting thing was the fact that it suddenly became clear to me that half the population of America has a tattoo.

How do I know this?  Because at Water Country USA, the only theme park I know of where you can walk around with no clothes on--and perhaps the best thing that has ever happened in the lives of my children--you couldn't escape it:  all ages, all walks of life, all body types, all ethnicities--everybody had a tattoo.   

So, my question:  when did this happen?  This means I have missed two huge cultural moments in the last decade:  I have never watched American Idol and no one told me that I needed to get a tattoo.  And which do I do first:  watch American Idol or get the tattoo?

Episode one:  rest stops really do come in handy and other eternal truths from 19 hours in the car with my little family

• When your husband says he just wants to go to the gym "for a little while" before you leave for vacation but that "it shouldn't be a problem" to leave by 9, it means you will leave at 11:15.
• Even the greatest kids' CD loses its charm after the fourth go-round.  And just because your toddler inexplicably loves "Johnny Be Good" does not mean that he wants to hear it six times in a row.




• Children who start flying as toddlers grow into spoiled kids who think any car trip over five hours long is some sort of human rights violation.  The fact that you never even set foot on a plane until you were a junior in high school means nothing to them.
• When you inform your 13-year-old that he is spoiled, he says, "If I'm spoiled, it's your fault."
• Just because you have your sister's child in your car does not mean she will answer her cell phone.
• Having to listen to the radio, your son's ipod on his laptop and a child's music toy all at the same time is sort of like watching A Clockwork Orange.
• Eating at McDonald's twice in one week is one time too many, even for some kids.
• If a toddler gets bored enough he will eventually discover that when he puts his finger down his throat he can make himself throw up.  And digesting Cheez-It's takes a lot longer than you think.
• I-95 will always be a nightmare in the summer, but if you have to go anywhere near New Haven, CT or exit 8A on the New Jersey Turnpike, forget about it.





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• If you are driving down a dirt road in a line with three other cars, it is preferable to be first in line if you don't want a lot of dust in your car.
• Even if you're in New Hampshire and it's 70 degrees, your husband will turn on the AC as soon as he gets in the car.
• Peeing in an empty Diet Coke bottle is apparently much harder than it looks, judging by the mishaps that have befallen the male members of my family over the years.